Doctor Who: Series 8 Premiere Episode

It has been a year since the announcement that Matt Smith would be replaced by Peter Capaldi as the Doctor. It has been roughly 9 months since the 50th anniversary episode, where we got our first glance of Capaldi as the new Doctor. It has been 8 months since we "began" our goodbyes to Matt Smith's 11th Doctor (or 12th depending on how you count it). To me, he is and always will be the 11th Doctor simply because that is what he was before the season 7 finale.

Tonight started off quite amusing, though it was a bit sad. It would appear that the Doctor's regeneration has left him a bit "out of sorts". Referring to Vastra as "the green one", Jenny "not the green one", Strax "sleepy, dopey, bashful... grumpy?", and Clara "Thingy"/"the one with all the questions"... though hilarious in the delivery, in the actuality it becomes very sad, as these are people who in the post Amy/Rory time stream became extremely important to him. They should not, by all means of logic, have been forgotten.

This episode carries references to several past episodes, which I suspect might actually be to ease us into the transition, to relieve any anxiety we might feel over the change. The intro sequence was completely different, the TARDIS looks completely different (by the end of the episode), we have a new Doctor, and then there's the latest rumor that Jenna Coleman will be leaving the show at the end of the season. Everything about it feels different, and honestly, to me it feels very "off". Now that isn't to say that I won't keep watching, because I will. I'm too invested at this point, and I have reached the realization that every time the Doctor regenerates, there will be change. I have said this many times before, Doctor Who is about nothing if not about change. It's how the story keeps going, otherwise we'd still be watching reruns of William Hartnell and never accept any other Doctor as THE Doctor.

What really put it in place for me was the ending, when they return to modern day Earth, and the Doctor asks Clara, not verbatim, if she's in or she's out. She almost turns him away and then her phone begins ringing. She steps outside the TARDIS to answer it, and it turns out to be Matt Smith-Doctor calling her before his regeneration phase. He asks her a few questions about the "new" him, and asks her to help him. He's there to remind her that it's still him, that he hasn't left her. I think that it's vital that scene happened, not just for the storyline, to put Clara's mind at ease, but for us too as fans. We never got that sort of closure with Christopher Eccleston or David Tennant.

This is my very first time experiencing a transition like this in real time, being late to the party as usual with the previous regenerations. I'm still very much looking forward to learning who this Doctor is, and all the naysayers who seem to think that an "old" Doctor is a bad idea can learn to shut the hell up as far as I'm concerned. While I did rather enjoy the romance aspect between 10 and Rose, and then the Rory and Amy Love Saga, one of the main things that Capaldi insisted upon was no "hanky panky" in the TARDIS. This has been a longstanding complaint of mine, that it's a science fiction tv show, not a love story. It doesn't -HAVE- to have a romance factor to be a good show, it isn't necessary or required. It's a time-travelling Doctor and his TARDIS and his companions. Companions, and not the kind you find on Firefly. So we'll see how this all plays out. All in all? I'd say Moffat finally did something good for us all with this one. (And thanks for making me go all teary-eyed when Matt Smith showed up at the end, really appreciated that one... feast well, Evil One).

O Captain, My Captain

Like most everyone else born in the 70s, who grew up during the 80s, my earliest experiences with Robin Williams began with Mork and Mindy. We even sat through his incarnation of Popeye, despite Shelley Duvall ruining any hope of actually enjoying the movie. (Seriously, my distaste for that woman knows no bounds). Fast forward a few years, to Good Morning Vietnam, then Dead Poet's Society where he quite charismatically encourages his students to STOP conforming and think outside the box, think for themselves, rip up their textbooks, and really LIVE, during a time when morals and conformity and doing what you're told was more valued and accepted by the general consensus. A few years later would come Hook, where he very convincingly played the boy-man Peter Pan, who'd forgotten who he once was. One of his more beloved, at least by me, roles would come in the form of Batty Koda, the whimsical lab-traumatized bat and comedic relief in Fern Gully, followed by the Genie in Aladdin, and the man who had the brilliant idea to cross dress as a British nanny so he could spend more time with his children after his continuous screw-ups landed him and his wife in a divorce in Mrs. Doubtfire. Other roles, such as Alan Parrish in Jumanji, his role in The Birdcage, and the professor in Flubber put him solidly in position as one of the greatest comedic actors of all times. Robin Williams is not just "the funny guy" though, with movies like Good Will Hunting and What Dreams May Come under his belt. He proved, in more than one instance, more than just two or three movies, that he was capable of serious acting in serious roles just as well as he could be funny.

While he had been busy putting out all of these great movies though, he was also a father and a husband. He had a life outside of the camera, and what we may never know, is the pain that he was in. It takes an enormous amount of pain to push someone to the point where they no longer wish to live. Every single moment I have ever thought about him, I see that infectious smile he carried, or hear his voice as he delivered some outrageously hysterical line that I find myself quoting more than I probably ever should. Some may say it's crazy to be so torn up and hurt by someone's death, but I see it this way: He may never have even known I existed, but he knew the extent of his reach... He knew that he was loved by millions. I grew up watching this man, he became the characters he played, and  he made our life a little bit better by being a part of it, even if he didn't know all of our names. None of that matters, because we knew HIM. The artist puts a bit of himself into everything he does, and that is precisely what Robin Williams did for us.

Tonight my heart is heavy with an emotion I cannot even express. I can't cry, the tears simply will not come. The more "enlightened" side of me wants to say that I can celebrate the life of a man who lived to make people happy, but I can't do that either because the child in me is mourning. We cannot know what caused him to do it, to end his life. There may be a note or something that gives an idea of it, but ultimately that is between him and whatever higher power he believed in. The one thing I do have going through my head, is the "what if" portion of What Dreams May Come showed me... that movie really dug into me the first time I saw it, "what if that's really what happens?" and if that IS what happens, I truly hope that someone somewhere has the guts to go find him, like he searched for his wife once he learned that she had committed suicide, and rescues him from that hellish limbo she was trapped in. I cannot fathom an afterlife, or whatever you wish to call it, where he should be trapped like that. My heart breaks to think that someone so full of life like he always seemed to be, would be so ripped apart inside that he could not keep on living. I only wish that he knows, even if it's too late to change things, how much he was loved. Mr Williams, thank you...